Shivers

 

This review is SUPER late… oops.

Basically, I hated this movie.  It reminded me of Slither in some parts, basically just the “creatures…”

The movie can be summed up very quickly.  All these people live in a self-serving apartment complex on an Island in Montreal… An old pedophile man (68 years old), who is consenually raping dating and subsequently experimenting on a young whore girl.  He believes that humans think too much and has designed a virus, that is a cross between an aphrodisiac and a VD so that he can create a huge orgy pretty much.  The girl goes fucking crazy and has slept with several men, spreading the VD, the old man kills her and tries to burn the VD but fails, so he kills himself…good riddance…

Old man killing the girl

There is one asshole guy that is the main “carrier” of the VD that enables it to spread throughout the whole complex…

The “slither” like things basically burn you or try and get into you somehow and make you super horny..  One of them even enters through a drain in a bathtub (Slither scene)

The rest of the movie is literally all about a Doctor being so fucking stupid he can’t even get out of a building or save his nurse girlfriend and all the people in the apartment complex raping each other infecting one another, until everyone has these things inside of them and are all just fucking each other.

One, cliche lesbian scene…

By the end everyone, like I said has been raped and has these things inside of them, then they all exit and go into the world raping anyone they can find to infect… The End.

If you want to see a 70’s movie all about sexual assault and Rape…watch this movie.

Shocktober stuffs…

Supposed to be done by THELiz, but done by Lady Buffnstuff

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Pulse

Anyone who knows anything about computers and electronics will understand this movie slightly better than I. A noble and interesting concept though. Computer genius Josh is on his way to meet his friend Zeigler, when a random spirit sucks the life out of him. Unbeknowst to his girlfriend Mattie, she visits his apartment a few days later where she finds it disaray and his cat dying of mal nutrition. Empty spirit Josh then hangs himself with an ethernet cable. That’s what happens when you don’t have wifi nowadays.

Mattie gets some strange messages from Josh’s computer making it seem like he’s still alive, but then she finds out his computer was in the hands of “Dex” McCarthy who finds a bunch of strange shit on it. Turns out that there’s a virus that has shut down the censor portion of our world versus the evil supernatural world. Basically said spirits take over most of the world, except for certain places where there is no wifi or cell reception so people are resumed safe.

Que metaphor for the take over of technology.

 

Burritolvr

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Possession (1981)

What the hell did I just see?

Anyone who has ever gone through a heart-breaking, traumatic relationship deconstruction will understand this movie’s message. What do we do when our faith…in love, in our partner, in our ideals…slowly dies? Do we allow our faith to die? Or do we intensely and insanely hold onto it…allowing it to manifest in places within ourselves and within other people in which it can’t possibly be found. Asking the world to come along such a dysfunctional journey will only lead to indiscriminate mass destruction.

In this movie, Mark and Anna (Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani) are a couple slowly going mad with guilt and sadness due to their dying relationship. Their son suffers for their neglect. People around them die and are sacrificed to their futile attempts to reclaim their faith and ideals. And some really intense scenes involving a tentacle monster are born!

**super-spoilers ahead!!!**

Throughout the film you discover that both people are nurturing relationships with idealized versions of each other. Mark meets his son’s school teacher who is Anna’s Doppelganger (also played by Adjani). Anna nurtures a monster who she sees as her ideal mate.

In the finals scenes, Mark leaves his son, Bob, with his schoolteacher (Anna’s doppelganger) in a last-ditch attempt to save his wife. As he tries to cover up some of his wife’s murders he manages to get shot repeatedly, as well as give himself a bad case of road-rash on a stolen motorcycle. Limping and bleeding, he returns to the apartment where Anna had been harboring her creature only to find that the creature has transformed into his sociopathic doppelganger.

In a standoff with the police both Mark and Anna die in each other’s arms as the doppelganger creature escapes. Full of charisma and perversion he manages in an instant to turn a sweet young woman into a cold-blooded killer. He is the version of Mark that Anna had created. This leads to me to think that the director wanted to comment on how all women, ultimately, want to be with monsters. She had her husband but was bored with him and in a sad confession to herself…she created something she never wanted to admit that she wanted. A sociopathic, manipulative, murderous, charismatic picture of the worst and basest characteristics of man.

Mark wanted to see the sweet school teacher as Anna. She may not have looked anything like her in reality, but he only ever saw Anna’s face. He wanted so badly to have that perfect woman, perfect relationship, perfect love.

After Mark and Anna die the monster goes directly to the school teacher’s house. Bob screams and pleads for her to not let him in. Somehow he knows that his parent’s failures would be the end of him and his innocence and ideals, as well. The house shakes as if it is the apocalypse and Bob drowns himself before his abomination of a father can destroy the ideal Anna and himself.

This film ends up being an allegory for divorce, the truths we withhold, and the ways they manifest themselves in destructive ways.

** end spoilers**

Isabelle Adjani is amazing in this. Even though she screams for a good portion of the movie (and caused my girlfriend to pop her head into the room a few times to see what all the commotion was about), her portrayal as a desperate and seemingly possessed woman is amazing. She’s gorgeous, mostly in the scenes where she is insane:

And she shines in a scene (shot continuously in one take with a hand-held camera) where she has a complete breakdown in a subway tunnel for what seems to be 3-5 minutes. I tried to imagine what it would be like to prepare for that scene and perform with such reckless abandon. Apparently it is not easy, since the experience of filming this movie haunted her for years and caused her to swear off these types of roles forever.

I wouldn’t watch this again…I don’t think I can handle it. But if you have the chops, I would highly recommend it. The scenes of domestic violence were more than disturbing to me…I had to fast forward some scenes which is rare for me. But some scenes resonated so deeply within me I was uncomfortable (no, I’m not talking about the tentacle-sex scene…weirdos).

–          Zoombear

UPDATE: Check out other participants – Blog @ Rotten Cotton, Life Between Frames, Aim for the Head, nijomu, Creatures of Light and Darkness

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Dead Alive (Braindead)

Dead Alive, or Braindead in the UK (filmed in 92)  is probably one of THE goriest movies I have ever seen, seriously – shit was NASTY! A creation from Peter Jackson, who I didn’t even know did horror.  Lets just say that the image below describes my thoughts on him as the creator of this movie:

So true…

So my basic review is: See this movie!!! It was so horrible I couldn’t stop watching! It was one of those genuine train wreck movies- you never know where it’s gonna go! Just when you think the movie has been pushed to its’ limits something even more sick happens! Sooo wonderful. I LOVE bad movies. I especially love bad funny movies and this hits it right on the head! This is right up there with Basket Caset  but it’s actually better  because it’s TRYING to be what it is; which is perfection!

Okay, let’s get to it. The movie is centered around a mama’s boy young man and a fierce & sexy latina “latin girl.” The latin girl (Paquita) starts going after the mama’s boy (Lionel) because her grandmother reads her tarot cards and says that he is her perfect match. Of course Lionel’s mother doesn’t like that someone might take her son away and follows them on a date to the zoo where she is bitten by a crazy-ass-rat-monkey-looking-monster-thing rat monkey.. First SUPER gory scene, but also pretty fucking hilarious!

Crazy Ass Mother getting bitten by the Rat Monkey thing

Lionel’s mother is now infected and starts killing things and people.  Lionel, being a Mama’s boy feels the need to take care of her, even though she is killing people and infecting them and trying to kill him. Such a sweet boy! He finds a way to sedate her and fake her death.  They have a funeral where we meet his sleazy uncle. Seriously, this guys is a slimball! He straight up goes to Paquita and tries to spit game multiple times but she cusses him out in spanish telling him to leave her the fuck alone. Great stuff! Night falls and Lionel goes back to retrieve his mother from her grave, but a group of thugs are there drinking and before you know it more GORE!  This scene is actually where you get to hear THE funniest line of the movie: “I Kick ass for the Lord!”, said in the Australian accent from a priest made it just that much sweeter :).

More people are made into zombies and now Lionel has to take care of 4 dead/not dead things; his mother, the priest, the nurse and one of the thugs.  2 of the zombies do the zombie nasty and a baby zombie is created.

The Zombie Nasty…

The Super sleazy uncle finds the dead/undead and threatens to call the Popo and blackmails Lionel into giving him all his money and the house, which Lionel being a pansy actual does agrees to.  The uncle has a party, the Zombies somehow escape and the wonder that is truly Dead Alive begins… I would say there is a good 30-45 minutes of just GORE, GUTS, GROTESQUE and BLOOD, including so much blood Lionel tries to run but actually just runs in place (HA! So awesome…). This movie even has entrails coming to life and looking into a mirror to see how pretty they are….no joke.

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all…?

Lots and lots of laughs and blood and my wife and I looking at each other with the, “Did that really just happen?!” look on our faces along with many,”NO!”‘s This movie is NOT to be missed.  You may think within the first few minutes that I have steered you wrong but wait it out. You wont be sorry! I can’t wait to watch it again. For REAL!

Check out the other SHOCKtober stuffs and other participants! Life Between Frames, blog @ Rotten Cotton and aim for the head  

Written by THELiz

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Tenebre (1982)

So…this was an awesome movie.

Noms

But I won’t do a synopsis since any detail given will be boring and/or nonsensical out of context.

Yikes

It’s a very stylish whodunnit by the guy who made Suspiria.

The mix of effective creepiness, bad dubbing, blaring 70s disco/synth soundtrack and Italian lesbians put this movie among my favorites.

If you don’t take that as an acceptable endorsement, then you’re obviously no friend of mine.

–          Zoombear

UPDATE: Check out other participants – Life Between Frames, Blog @ Rotten Cotton, Aim for the Head

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Cat People (1942)

This movie was so damn awesome! First of all, two names… Simone Simon and Jane Randolph…

Simone Simon

Jane Randolph

So hot… Simone Simon reminds me of a young Zsa Zsa…
Ok, basically, I think that everyone should go see this movie!  Nothing better than 2 hot ladies in an, if you will excuse the pun, “cat fight”…  The entire movie is based on fear and jealousy, but not in a shallow cliché way.  Cat people is very well written and very well filmed considering its a black and white movie…and there is something VERY familiar about the whole movie.. Like pieces of it are in many films of today…

Synopsis, guy meets girl, guy falls in love with girl, girl thinks that she is cursed, you will either find out if girl is crazy or if she really is cursed…

Is she a creepy cat lady…?

Will this be her best friend?

I will be honest, at the last few scenes of the movie, I was sad that I had watched it.. It has a scene where a cat gets run over…and my cat just got run over…so that was a bit of a painful movie watching experience…but all in all, VERY VERY good.. Perfect blend, to me, of old horror and old awesome movie! I REALLY want to write a lengthy review of this movie because it was so good, but I would rather whoever is reading this actually see it, rather than spoil it.. I might just be a sucker for old movies, but I truly enjoyed it.

One thing though…EVERYONE in this movie is like a chimney! I mean even the janitor lady washing the floors is smoking and working..do we really need a scene of the janitor cleaning the floor and dusting the ash from her cigarette from her chest area??

By Lady Buffnstuff

Check out Finalgirl reviews!

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Slither (a.k.a Dear God Why)

So basically I’m writing this review while still watching the film because I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Let me put it this way… in an attempt to get healthier, and to bolster the success I’ve had doing Weight Watchers, I decided to try and forgo having a drink anytime during a week day and save it for an occasional one with friends on the weekend. Within, oh I’d say, about 35 minutes, I was like “ Sorry kidney’s and Weight Watchers! Liver, you’ll need to take one for the team!” and I poured myself a rum and diet Dr.Pepper because this movie was just that bad.  The film takes place in the town of Wheelsy South Carolina, which you don’t find out until well into the film, and you’re left imagining which of the many of our fine states would still have sheriff’s deputies calling children varmints, kicking them, and having a deer hunting party countdown. I would have thought it would have been a state significantly redder than Sc, but I guess the director of Slither proved me wrong.  I must admit though, the heavily CGI created view of a beautiful valley was nice, until you realize it’s completely CGI’d in, and nowhere like that probably exists in SC, thus negating its entire existence, at least in relation to this film.

Basically there’s a big shot of a meteor as the first scene, to let you know “ HEY THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE OF THE METEOR, AND EVEN THOUGH THEY DESPERATLY TRY TO LATCH ON TO THE ZOMBIE/HOST MOTIFF, IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THE METEOR!!” It then goes on to try and highlight the quirky personalities of each of the town’s residents in about 2 minutes, mainly focusing on the podunk head sheriff Bill Pardy and his past teenage crush “ Starla”. Yes, Starla (which always makes me think of that chick from Napoleon Dynamite) who married the town’s richest, slightly older man, named Grant Grant. Yes, also, Grant Grant. Who, btw, looks like Walter White and is played by the guy who did Henry in “ Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer” which made me both completely shocked and happy since that was such a good film, and he did so well in it, and saddened that he’d succumbed to this.  Starla is played by a hot looking Elizabeth Banks, and of course, Grant Grant tries to get it on with her one night as they lay in their marital bed. She turns him down, he goes out to get drunk at a bar, meets some town hussy there, and somehow they wind up in the woods. He finds some slimy looking cocoon thing and being a country boy, decides to antagonize it by poking it with a stick, even though it looks like it’s about ready to explode. It does of course, and something that looks like a rattlesnake rattle shoots into his chest and he collapses. He picks himself up, dusts himself off, and seems ok, except from then on he has a huge craving for meat. Now being in Weight Watchers and on a diet, the one food I constantly crave when I’m watching my weight is meat products. I completely identified with his character at this point, and when he went to the store and ordered 14 rib eyes from the butcher, I thought, “ This guy is awesome!!!!! Make that 16 buddy, I hear you!!!” He then devolves into eating pets and livestock. He’s now being possessed by whatever (it’s never explained) that took over his body, and he goes back to the bar hussies house and pretty much rapes her with some tentacles that shoot out of his stomach. I’m going to call this action traped, because he does it several times throughout the film. Evidently he wasn’t satisfied just traping her. He goes home and tries to trape Elizabeth Banks, but before his stomach tentacles can get at her, she knocks him in the head with some furniture and a sheriff’s posse breaks in. Alien Grant Grant escapes… for now. The posse goes out and tries to find him to bring him in. They don’t find him but they find this:

Image

the bar hussy Grant Grant first traped, swollen to the gill with alien spawn.  It’s about here where the master dialogue and screenwriting comes into play. Upon seeing the posse, poor, now alien, bar hussy says: “I don’t feel so well…” to which the cunning sheriff replies, “ No shit.” Also, the stereotype of the dowdy small town lesbian sheriff’s deputy summed up by the ” Did you ever hit that?” ” She eats a boxed lunch” exchange also sealed the deal for me. It’s all down hill from there people. Basically pregnant bar hussy explodes, and tiny slithery phallic looking grub things shoot everywhere, take over the town, and infect everyone, turning them into zombies that still have Grant Grant’s memories and emotions for some reason. Now, I’m probably one of the LEAST PC, and most open minded, free loving people you will ever meet, but all the phallic penis euphemism’s in this film, from here on out, just got old. What do you think of when you see this:

Image

Or this:

Image

Why, what ever could they be hinting at there?

Now that is subtedly people!

They try and track down the boss level of Grant Grant. Elizabeth Bank’s uses her banging bod and pre Definitely Maybe/ Hunger Games/other romcom fame, to trick boss Grant Grant. She stabs him, he’s defeated, and EB, Sherriff guy and the residual, one surviving, hot, barely legal teen girl in the bathtub alien fellatio scene all walk off better people for having survived. Unless you have more booze than I do on hand, you could probably skip this one.

By BurritoLvr

Where it all began!!! http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/

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